Barack Obama Knows This Vital Element of Writing
Here’s a quick disclaimer: I have absolutely no idea who will get my vote in November. While I will certainly vote, right now I’m undecided. I like and dislike many things about both Obama and McCain, and I’ll be paying close attention over the next two months as I try to figure out this year’s election.
Still, out of all of this politicking, I thought I might find some copywriting words of wisdom; specifically, I was interested in the two candidate’s very different styles of communication. So I downloaded transcripts of speeches that Barack Obama and John McCain gave to the National Urban League’s annual conference last month. Both gave an overview of their respective positions on a number of issues, such as education and the economy, and both speeches were nearly identical in length. But reading McCain’s speech just about put me to sleep, while Obama’s speech compelled me to read to the very end. Why?
Obama has mastered the use of emotion in his speeches. Now, some may say that this is his problem – he’s all hype and no substance. I’m not going to comment on that. But like it or not, emotion engages the hearts of an audience and inspires us to listen. It can make the difference between a newspaper ad that gets read versus one that gets passed over or a brochure that gets saved versus one that gets tossed.
I’ve identified three skillful ways that Obama uses emotion in his speeches, and I hope you’ll keep them in mind on your next writing project.
1. Obama includes a few specific details to paint a clear picture.
Obama gave the National Urban League audience this summary of the state of the struggling economy:
Because you know that civil rights and equal treatment under the law are necessary, but not sufficient, to seize America's promise - as Dr. King once said, "the inseparable twin of racial justice is economic justice." You know that you can't take that seat at the front of the bus if you can't afford the bus fare. You can't live in an integrated neighborhood if you can't afford the house. And it doesn't mean a whole lot to sit down at that lunch counter if you can't afford the lunch.
This put the economy into very specific terms: taking a bus, buying a house, affording lunch. And his language is particularly personal for this African American audience. He doesn’t just intellectually understand the problem, he let us know that he understands our pain, which draws us in and makes us want to hear more.
2. Obama speaks in inclusive language to let his audience know that he is one of us.
Out of a total of 2,685 words, McCain said “we” or “our” only 48 times. Obama’s speech was 2,632 words, but he used “we” or “our” 76 times, nearly twice as often. This personal address helps us to identify with Obama and Obama to identify with us.
One example:
But somewhere along the way, we got off course. Somewhere along the way, we let a reckless few game the system, we let special interests tilt the scale and distort the free market, we stopped making the investments in our children and our workers to help us all rise together.
He didn’t just identify the problem, he told us that we’re all in this together.
3. Obama consistently weaves emotion throughout the speech to cement his audience’s reaction.
McCain stuck mainly to the facts during his speech. His single big emotional moment didn’t occur until the very end. Obama, however, inserted emotional moments over and over again throughout the speech. Here’s just one example, but there were at least five others I could have chosen as well:
So we all have a stake here. That's why your opportunity agenda is a compact - not a guarantee, not a promise - but a call to responsibility. Because we know that government can't solve all our problems, and government can't and shouldn't do for us what we should be doing for ourselves: raising our kids the right way, being good neighbors and good citizens, becoming leaders in our industries and communities. We know that the American dream isn't something that happens to you - it's something you strive for and work for and seize with your own two hands. And we've got a responsibility as a nation to keep that dream alive for all of our people.
Obama started his speech by raising our emotions, he continued to touch on our emotions all the way through, and he ended his speech on an emotional note. Throughout it all, he proposed solutions for the struggling economy, health care, housing, and education, so it’s not entirely fair to say that he was all hype. To be sure, McCain spent a great deal more time in his speech outlining solutions. But McCain’s lack of attention to emotion made for a dry, boring speech. Obama’s was riveting.
Politically speaking, which is better – substance or style? I’m not the one to say. From a copywriting standpoint, however, if you want someone to read what you’ve written, be careful to engage not only their heads, but their hearts as well. Use emotion thoughtfully in your writing, and people will pay attention.
(c) Elizabeth Carter, Freelance Writing Solutions
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